Getting married is a serious commitment – it is understandable to ponder before making up your mind and taking that decision. However, sometimes changing one’s mind comes after saying “I do”. Here are the stories of women who decided to call off their weddings.
Wendy Riemann, Aleteia
“While dating was fine, the engagement period signaled the marriage would likely be more reflective of a movie on Lifetime than the Hallmark Channel.
While I hoped it would somehow work out, the next six weeks were the longest of my life.
Nearly all the wedding planning was done, I had already submitted my job and apartment notice in preparation for our move, and at 35, I was not getting any younger to have children. Perhaps it would have been easier to ignore my gut until after the wedding, but thinking about the future, breaking my vows, or adding in an innocent baby, made that impossible.”
Connie H, Women’s Health
“I always regret everything I do. If I don’t buy a shirt I semi-like when I go shopping, I can’t forgive myself for days. But breaking off this wedding was seriously the most decisive thing I’ve ever done. I don’t regret it at all. I don’t miss him or our relationship. I said goodbye and never looked back. I was proud of myself for having the courage to do that.”
Becky Butz, Quora
“Our relationship appeared great and dandy on the outside, but if you got a good look on the inside, there was tension between us. I walked on eggshells.
Months leading up to me calling off the wedding, I had this constant deep sinking feeling that something was just not right, but I could never identify what or why. I felt stressed out all the time, and I chalked it up to wedding planning stress. My sex drive completely tanked and remained that way most of the relationship. It took me a long time to figure out that I was not marrying the right man.”
Clare Clark, The Telegraph
“I called a friend. She was calm, kind and very clear. She said that it was nerves, that romantic love was a false ideal. We were great friends, he made me laugh, he was wealthy. What more could I possibly hope for? I have been grateful to her ever since. Even before I hung up I knew absolutely that she was wrong, that what we had was not enough. I could not marry him.
The night I told my fiancé it was over I went to see my mother. When she answered the door I burst into tears. She was wonderful. She opened a bottle of wine and asked me to explain. Two hours later she nodded. ‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘You can’t marry him.’ By the next morning she had made it go away. She wrote a short, elegant letter to the guests cancelling the wedding. The cake, the dress, the flowers, the caterers – all were quietly stood down. She never said how much it had cost and I’m ashamed to say I never asked.”
Tracy Wang, Quora/Slate
“The hurt takes a long time to go away. It’s not just a wedding breakup of course. It’s the same with any really serious relationship that went awry. I think these relationships are different because I had dreams of a life attached to the relationship. When we were happy. I could see us growing old together and what our family would look like. It was so clear.”
Halle, Offbeat Bride
“I started having doubts about the wedding (not the relationship… the WEDDING) early on, but I knew I wanted to marry my fiance so I didn’t say much other than “Do you like this venue?,” “Would you rather have German chocolate or pumpkin spice cake?,” etc. I thought I was doing him a favor by keeping my mouth shut when it came to my apprehensions. It turns out that, as the planning process carried on, we became more and more distant. Finally I exploded and screamed and cried and told him the truth about the way I felt. We ended up sitting down and talking for hours during our anniversary weekend. We discussed why we wanted to get married and laughed at ourselves for making this more complicated than it should be.”